Thursday, May 14, 2009

What now?

It's been awhile since I posted and my friends know why. I can come here and unload and not upset my daughter. I believe from the day we are born we are on a predestined journey,thats not to say we don't have free will and don't have choices and we have to be responsible for our actions but the ending result is still the same. This is my therapy space today. Six weeks one of those choices was made for us and now my kids are being held responsible and 2 little kids are being treated as pawns in a chess game. In the last six weeks this is how things changed. The grandkids have gone from being ours and now my husband calls them his. A cell phone that I have only used a handfull of times in the last 2 years has become my constant companion. Everytime my daughter calls my heart plumments to my stomach and I pause after saying hello to judge her current state. Thats lawyers are irritating and I am getting tired of telling them my story. That my son-in-law can't ask the social worker a simple question,why do you need the kids social security cards. That obviously a single mom makes her living as a foster mom . That great grandma's finger prints didn't clear and now they are going to thr FBI. What was she a spy during the war? That when I go to bed all I drean is my grandkids coming home and if I lived in California I would take the blame for what happened. That my mom is about to drive me over the edge. She doesn't deal with stress well and thinks drugs are the answer. I asked my hubby are we ever going to be happy again? And lastly,why can't these idiot people in California see this for what it really is,an accident. And I am blessed to have friends to see me thru,thanks Karen!

2 comments:

  1. Robin, I would move the world for you if it meant I could ease your burdens. My heart truly bleeds for you and what you are going through. I see your pain and anguish everyday and wish there was something I could do to help you. You know I'm here whenever you need me and this shoulder is always available.

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  2. we are always thinking about you robin!!!

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